A Risky Request

Love.

I know, I know. This topic is talked about so much that, as Christians, we seem to be desensitized to the topic. Trust me. You are hearing from a pastor’s kid over here. I have been hearing about love my.whole.life. But God finally smacked me right out of that love-numbness. How? He showed me that I really did not understand love like I thought I did.

For the first few months of college I was reading through 1-3 John. Love is a major theme in those books, especially in 3^rd John. One night I was going to do my devotions, and I opened up my big ol’ John MacArthur ESV to 3^rd John once again.

**Honesty moment**: I looked at the passage and just thought, God, can I read about something other than love tonight? That’s all I’ve been reading about for quite some time now. I just want a change of pace. I think I’ve got the picture.

That night, God showed me that I had not “got the picture.”

As I was reading, I began to be convicted to love a certain girl. I had been convicted before and had asked God for Him to help me love her, but it was not anything deep. That night, God began to push my heart to love, and I got scared. Why? Because I was beginning to see what loving her would really mean. So often we pray for love, but all we are really looking for is a surface patience. We want God to provide the patience to tolerate that person’s presence until we get to get away from him/her again. That is not love. Love is so much deeper. Love enjoys that person’s presence. Love desires a relationship. Love wants to help and comfort. I knew I needed to pray for love—real love. I lay there on my bed, staring at my prayer journal. If I were to pray for love and God gave it to me, then I would have to spend time with her! I would have to be her friend…

You’re still not getting it Lydia…

That was the thing: if I truly loved her, I would not mind hanging out with her. I would not mind being her friend. I would enjoy it; it would not be a chore. When you honestly love someone, it is not a chore to spend time with and to be loving towards him/her. You want to. Why? Because you love her. Maybe I’m just thick-skulled, but this took a while to sink into my head. If I truly were to love her, it would not be a miserable task to show love to her; I would want to show her love… because I love her!

I know; I am being redundant. But this was the battle raging in my head. God was showing me true love, and my flesh was not very excited about it.

I had been so selfish. I chose to love people in my life who would deposit into my love tank. We do that—or at least I do. I love for my own benefit.

“For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:46-48 ESV).

We are to love our enemies. We are to love everyone (this girl was not my enemy—she just bugged me). When we truly love them, it is love.

Duh Lydia. Love is love.

YES! Love is LOVE. It feels like love. It looks like love. It.Is.Love. From deep in your heart, it is love. And having that love for others is enjoyable, because, as Christians, we are to love. That is a characteristic of a child of God. When we are loving others, we are doing what God wants us to do. We are bearing the fruit that should naturally spring forth from the transformation that has been done in our hearts.

God changed my view of love that night; He truly worked a miracle. Honestly, I have grown used to God working slowly in my life. He slowly molds me, teaching me patience while working in a certain area in my life (killing two birds with one stone I guess). I was not expecting Him to do what He did.

The next day when I saw this girl, no bitterness clenched my heart. No vile words sprung into my mind. Her voice did not grate on my nerves. I felt…love. That love made me… happy. I was stunned. Please do not think that I am trying to brag on myself here. This love that I felt was indescribable. It was nothing of my own doing. All the power of myself that I could ever muster could never create what God created in my heart. True love. It was humbling.

Do not go thinking that now I am some super-lover. I am still growing here; I am sure I always will be. It is amazing to see, however, that God showing me what love looks like with this one girl has given me so much more faith. I have seen Him work in my heart so miraculously in this situation, I know He can and will help me elsewhere. Sure, it may not be nearly as fast, but He is working in His beautiful, omnipotent way.

Maybe this is something that is not a hard area for you…or maybe you tried to read this blog but could only think

Good glory, Lydia. This makes no sense. How on earth does your brain work?

(Okay, translate that sentence into what you would sound like, because that sounds way too much like me… and no one else on this earth talks like me)

But regardless, my one challenge is this: open your heart for God to teach you. So many times we think we have something down pat, when, really, we have just been desensitized to it. We are not too old, too educated, too anything for the fundamentals. Usually those are what we struggle with the most.

Or perhaps that is just me…